Dat first Soot!
(From Norm Rachow,Beenleigh)
Oh, dat first soot of trousers – dere vas sooch a fuss!
Uncle Karl und Aunt Charlotte vas staying by us!-
Und poor Grandpa sat up in his chair – he vas ill
Mit his legs full of gout – I remember it shtill.
Vell, der parcel came late von Saturday night
Linda vent to der door, Auntie turnd’t up der light;
Fadther poot on his shpecks, Modther voke from her dose;
Und dey vaited to see how I fitted dem clo’es
First I shlippdt on der trousers – all folded und new
‘Tvas some shtruggles, I tells you, mine legs to get thro’
But the rest soon vas done, und I velt in mein joy,
Shtout un bigger at vonce – quoite a different poy.
Den mein Fadther cried, ‘Donner und Blitz – how he’s grown;
Shtand up shtraight – bendt your back – show your figure mein Shon;
Poot your handt to your sides – look at me- now turn roundt
Pull dem up more- your trousers vos touchind der groundt
Den come here – saidt mein modther, ‘ der vest looks too long
Do keep sthill – vhy, goodt gracious, tvas buttoned all wrong
You’ve commenced half vay down – bless mein soul – are you blindt
Und your braces – I thought so – you’ve cross’dt dem behind.
Den she stroked down mein jacket to see how it set –
Shpun me roundt like some tops; und I’ll never forget
How mein arms I heldt up; till she kissed me for love
Und cried ‘Shplendidt – it fits him so tight as a glove’.
Vell next day vas the Sabbath – for church ve all dress’dt
Fadther brought out that hat he used only for best
Und I pleasedt grandpa so I vasn’t too late
Dat a pfennig he gave me to poot in der plate.
How de peoples shtared round vhen ve entered der door
Aunt vas proud in her silks but they’d seen dem before;
Und her balck bonnet too; vhat they liked I suppose
Vas dat nice looking poy in his new suit of clo’es.
Vhen they prayed I said ‘Amen!’ so grave as could be
Und der preacher, I thought, shpoke his sermon to me;
Vhilst I’m sure I drove vild all der rest of der poys,
Vhen I dropp’dt in dat pfennig – it made sooch a noise.