Dat First Soot!

Dat first Soot!

(From Norm Rachow,Beenleigh)


Oh, dat first soot of trousers – dere vas sooch a fuss!

Uncle Karl und Aunt Charlotte vas staying by us!-

Und poor Grandpa sat up in his chair – he vas ill

Mit his legs full of gout – I remember it shtill.

Vell, der parcel came late von Saturday night

Linda vent to der door, Auntie turnd’t up der light;

Fadther poot on his shpecks, Modther voke from her dose;

Und dey vaited to see how I fitted dem clo’es

First I shlippdt on der trousers – all folded und new

‘Tvas some shtruggles, I tells you, mine legs to get thro’

But the rest soon vas done, und I velt in mein joy,

Shtout un bigger at vonce – quoite a different poy.

Den mein Fadther cried, ‘Donner und Blitz – how he’s grown;

Shtand up shtraight – bendt your back – show your figure mein Shon;

Poot your handt to your sides – look at  me- now turn roundt

Pull dem up more- your trousers vos touchind der groundt

Den come here – saidt mein modther, ‘ der vest looks too long

Do keep sthill – vhy, goodt gracious, tvas buttoned all wrong

You’ve commenced half vay down – bless mein soul – are you blindt

Und your braces – I thought so – you’ve cross’dt dem behind.

Den she stroked down mein jacket to see how it set –

Shpun me roundt like some tops; und I’ll never forget

How mein arms I heldt up; till she kissed me for love

Und cried ‘Shplendidt – it fits him so tight as a glove’.

Vell next day vas the Sabbath – for church ve all dress’dt

Fadther brought out that hat he used only for best

Und I pleasedt grandpa so I vasn’t too late

Dat a pfennig he gave me to poot in der plate.

How de peoples shtared round vhen ve entered der door

Aunt vas proud in her silks but they’d seen dem before;

Und her balck bonnet too; vhat they liked I suppose

Vas dat nice looking poy in his new suit of clo’es.

Vhen they prayed I said ‘Amen!’ so grave as could be

Und der preacher, I thought, shpoke his sermon to me;

Vhilst I’m sure I drove vild all der rest of der poys,

Vhen I dropp’dt in dat pfennig  – it made sooch a noise.

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