Hans Schnitzel und his Velocipede

Hans Schnitzel und his Velocipede


Hans Schnitzel und his velocipede

Vas vone of the newest kind,

It had no vheels in fronts,

Und had no vheels behind.

But its had vone in the mittel though,

That vone vas as sure as eggs.

How he could straddle across dat axle,

Mit dat vheel between his legs.

Oldtimer Kevin Breuer recalled the above verse of ‘Hans Schnitzel’ but knew nothing of its origins – except that the verse had passed down the generations. The ‘full version’ is given below:

‘HERR SCHNITZERL made a ph’losopede,

Von of de pullyest kind;

It vent mitout a vheel in front,

And hadn’t none pehind.

Von vheel vas in de mittel, dough,

And it vent as sure ash ecks,

For he shtraddled on de axel dree,

Mit der vheel petween his lecks.

Und vhen he vant to shtart it off

He paddlet mit his feet,

Und soon he cot to go so vast

Dat efery dings he peat.

He run her out on Broader shtreed,

He shkeeted like der vind,

Hei! how he bassed de vancy crabs,

And lef dem all pehind!

De vellers mit de trottin nags

Pooled oop to see him bass;

De Deutschers all erstaunished saidt:

“Potztausend! Was ist das?”

Boot vaster shtill der Schnitzerl flewed

On—mit a ghastly shmile;

He tidn’t tooch de dirt, py shings!

Not vonce in half a mile.

Oh, vot ish all dis eart’ly pliss?

Oh, vot ish man’s soocksess?

Oh, vot ish various kinds of dings?

Und vot ish hobbiness?

Ve find a pank node in de shtreedt,

Next dings der pank ish preak!

Ve folls, and knocks our outsides in,

Vhen ve a ten shtrike make.

So vas it mit der Schnitzerlein

On his philosopede.

His feet both shlipped outsidevard shoost

Vhen at his exdra shpeed.

He felled oopon der vheel of coorse;

De vheel like blitzen flew!

Und Schnitzerl he vos schnitz in vact,

For it shlished him grod in two.

Und as for his philosopede,

Id cot so shkared, men say,

It pounded onward till it vent

Ganz tyfelwards afay.

Boot vhere ish now der Schnitzerl’s soul?

Vhere dos his shbirit pide?

In Himmel droo de endless plue,

It takes a medeor ride!’

An afternoon ride in the Lockyer


  1. Been looking for years to find Hans Schnitsel und his Veloceipde. When I was small I lived with my grandparents and my grandpa used to tell this poem – a bit different, but it is the poem. Thanks every so much to putting out here for me to find! My grandpa worked on the rairoad, and they called him “Hinney” because he was German. Here’s to Hinney Hiser and his telling of the Velocipede!

    • Club Familia’yaya sanırım 2005’te gitmiÅŸtimOrtada büyük bir havuzu var, fakat çok kalabalık oluyor, yemekleri ilk bir iki gün kötüydü, sonra dÃmitl¼iÅŸez.Bize kadınlar için ayrı plaj var denmiÅŸti. Fakat korunaklı bir yer olmadığından kimse girmiyordu. Yani bayanlara ayrı plaj hikayesine kanmayınAyrıca Familia’da gidip betona gömüleceÄŸinize Yeni Meltem gibi daha yeÅŸil ve ferah bir yeri tavsiye ederim, araları da çok yakın

  2. My maternal grandfather used to recite a version of this poem in English to the delight of the whole family. His version was an abridged version of this but was very close.

    Thanks for posting it.

  3. I want to say thanks such a lot of for your work you have made in writnig this blog post. I am hoping the same top work by you down the road also.

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