Hans Schnitzel und his Velocipede
Hans Schnitzel und his velocipede
Vas vone of the newest kind,
It had no vheels in fronts,
Und had no vheels behind.
But its had vone in the mittel though,
That vone vas as sure as eggs.
How he could straddle across dat axle,
Mit dat vheel between his legs.
Oldtimer Kevin Breuer recalled the above verse of ‘Hans Schnitzel’ but knew nothing of its origins – except that the verse had passed down the generations. The ‘full version’ is given below:
‘HERR SCHNITZERL made a ph’losopede,
Von of de pullyest kind;
It vent mitout a vheel in front,
And hadn’t none pehind.
Von vheel vas in de mittel, dough,
And it vent as sure ash ecks,
For he shtraddled on de axel dree,
Mit der vheel petween his lecks.
Und vhen he vant to shtart it off
He paddlet mit his feet,
Und soon he cot to go so vast
Dat efery dings he peat.
He run her out on Broader shtreed,
He shkeeted like der vind,
Hei! how he bassed de vancy crabs,
And lef dem all pehind!
De vellers mit de trottin nags
Pooled oop to see him bass;
De Deutschers all erstaunished saidt:
“Potztausend! Was ist das?”
Boot vaster shtill der Schnitzerl flewed
On—mit a ghastly shmile;
He tidn’t tooch de dirt, py shings!
Not vonce in half a mile.
Oh, vot ish all dis eart’ly pliss?
Oh, vot ish man’s soocksess?
Oh, vot ish various kinds of dings?
Und vot ish hobbiness?
Ve find a pank node in de shtreedt,
Next dings der pank ish preak!
Ve folls, and knocks our outsides in,
Vhen ve a ten shtrike make.
So vas it mit der Schnitzerlein
On his philosopede.
His feet both shlipped outsidevard shoost
Vhen at his exdra shpeed.
He felled oopon der vheel of coorse;
De vheel like blitzen flew!
Und Schnitzerl he vos schnitz in vact,
For it shlished him grod in two.
Und as for his philosopede,
Id cot so shkared, men say,
It pounded onward till it vent
Ganz tyfelwards afay.
Boot vhere ish now der Schnitzerl’s soul?
Vhere dos his shbirit pide?
In Himmel droo de endless plue,
It takes a medeor ride!’
An afternoon ride in the Lockyer